The Advice
From Fairbanks radio show
“You have to forgive”
“And once you forgive, you have to forget”
“Don’t get a two person canoe. Get one on your own, you can always meet in the middle or on the beach!”
“Pray together every day”
“Seek the advantage of the other person – put them first in your life, play to their strengths”
“It’s a choice: to decide to commit to somebody, till death do us part, eternity. Commit to that, not until there’s a bump in the road. We’ve become a disposable society – but you have to commit, it’s a choice. It’s inevitable that there are going to be bumpy times, and that’s not the time to bail out on each other. If you can get through those bumpy times, it’s strengthens you for the next one, you build on it. If you get in the mindset of ‘we’re not having fun right now’ and you quit, it’s going to happen to the next relationship. Those bumpy times are what make it strong, and help you to get through the next one”
“Give each other ten signs of affection every day”
Oh dear… we’ve had a lot more since Fairbanks. I just haven’t had a chance to get it all up online. With any luck, when we hit South America and I’m not leaping on anyone and everyone, I might actually have time to go through the footage and start collecting it.
My advice from what I’ve learnt so far is make sure you keep on laughing… (even if that’s through the tears!)
From Robert Francisco, New York
The bottom line to ending an argument is to think, “…this is the person I’m supposed to be with the rest of my life…will arguing over the price of chips at a grocery store really matter when we’re 80 years old?”
Realize that issues are going to occur. Unless you’re independently wealthy, money at some point will be one of these. Don’t do the “seperate” bank account thing like many people. You’re supposed to be a team. Its a joint venture. If you both live frugally and try not to purchase impulsively, when you DO want that special hobby item, etc. it won’t appear as though your needs always come first. Put some cash away on a consistant basis for that house, vacation, toy, etc. that you’ll both want at some point. This account should never be used as a “rainy day” fund. Even if you’re working for minimum wage, keep putting a little away. When the day comes to use the money, the sense of long term accomplishement and team effort makes using the cash that much sweeter.
Don’t forget historic dates in your lives. What might seem trivial to one person could mean far more to the other person.
At some point many years down the road you may question why you’re still with this person. Is there someone else out there? Sit down and ask yourself this question: would someone else tolerate my oddities, my peculiar ways, my bad habits, my faults? We all have them. If the other person can just smile and let them slide, this is half the battle in life.
