Going The Distance

One of our ambitions here in Argentina is to get an interview with a gaucho couple. A full on, costume-wearing old school Argentinian cowboy and his wife. My father helped us by getting hold of the rural association here in Santa Rosa, in La Pampa, and asking them to help us find a couple. They came up with a suggestion and so we arranged an interview.

Only when we arrive do we realise this is not exactly ‘on brief’: a wonderful couple, but young, who run a dairy farm but certainly don’t have gauchos on their farm. Hey ho, lovely people and a nice chance to see the local countryside.

They keep lots of local animals because they work with local schools and the children come to see the animals. And so it is that I meet my very first armadillo.

I’m in love.

In Spanish, an armadillo is a “peludo” – literally, a “hairy”. And hairy they are! First, our new friend Ramon brings out Marta, a large female armadillo. She’s curled in a helmet-sized ball and he holds her up by her claws to uncurl her. He plops her down on her feet and she just sits quietly. Ramon tells us that they are native to La Pampa and they eat chickens. At the side of their armour, bony rib-like extensions grow out which he says they use to cut the chickens’ necks once they have leapt on them. It’s hard to imagine the sluggishly docile Marta leaping on anything, even the chickens agree as they stroll leisurely round her.

Then Ramon brings out her little son, Ernesto. I’m gobsmacked by how adorable this little fellow is, scarcely bigger than my palm. When Ramon puts him on the ground beside his mother, he shoots off like a little bullet and the chickens and geese scatter with a flurry of panicked sqwawks. Ramon quickly scoops him up. Ernesto is not mad keen on this so curls into a little ball and promptly fires out a poo. I then get to hold him. More poo. This is my kind of guy.

Ramon then shows us his favourite trick for the kids: putting a chicken to sleep. He picks up a big black hen, takes her neck and forces is under her wing, he then holds her tightly with both hands and, with his arms stretched, he rotates her in big circles. Her head emerges reluctantly at one point and Ramon shoves it back under the wing and starts the process again. After about a minute of rotating her round him, he puts her on the ground and it is as though the chicken is dead. He lifts her leg up and lets it drop heavily, completely lifeless. The chicken remains in this state for about 2 minutes, then lifts its head out from under its wing, open its vacuous eyes, orientates itself bewilderedly, then wanders off. Extraordinary. Ramon explains its dizziness that does it, but that the kids genuinely believe the chicken is asleep and they love it.

We do an interview with Erica and Sergio who run the place. They’re both blond, good-looking and 3 beautiful Aryan children run around the place. It’s not really the crusty-faced gaucho who we were hunting for, but hell, why not do an interview since we’re here. 11 years of marriage after 8 years of dating. They first met when she was 14 (hence the 8 years of waiting) and he was 16. She never ever wanted to live on a farm, but somehow he convinced her and they live on a gorgeous place. Last year, they decided to take guests too, so have opened up a little spare house where visitors stay and live on the farm with them. The morning we are there, a French couple are staying and they have just returned from a ride across the Pampas to start the day.

The two of them laugh together often, say that setting the farm up has at times been very hard, but that it’s all good. They have three children: 2 boys (11 and and a girl, 5. The boys are both Argentinian champions at triathlon in their age categories. Pretty rad. Sergio is a triathlete and at the end, he likens marriage to an endurance sport saying that there are great parts of it when you feel like everything is going well, and there are harder bits where you have to put your head down, focus and get through them together. I like that analogy, having been a marathon widow for a while when Mike was training for the Marathon des Sables 2 years ago. Not, mind you, that I’m an endurance athlete!

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