Wednesday, 13th January, Santa Cruz: boppers and bikers
Right. Clutch is in La Paz. Can’t be collected unti we ourselves go to the post office to get it. So you’d think we’d be on the next flight… well, not quite.
When we finished with the utterly gorgeous and entirely pneumatic Desiree Duran, former Miss Bolivia and Top 10 finalist in 2006 at Miss Universe, we headed out to catch a cab out to the Mennonite colony. Waiting for us at the gates of the studio was a man who greeted us. After we’d cleared up the fact that he wasn’t the taxi driver, he told us that he was called Jorge, and that he was a member of the Moto Club of Santa Cruz. He had seen us on TV just ten minutes earlier, and come straight down to the station to ask us to join the Moto Club for its fortnightly dinner the next night. The club is the only one in the city whose members all travel with their wives: it’s a motorbike club all about couples, and they’d love it if we could join them for dinner. 15 couples in total, 30 people. We agreed, delighted and astounded that anyone would bother to come down to the station to find us and make such an invite.
This was before we knew the clutch was in La Paz. When we found out, we phoned Jorge to ask if the dinner could be moved (not realising how many people were involved), he said no, but repeated that he’d love to have us there. So we decided to stay, instead of catching a flight back to La Paz early Wednesday morning, instead, we’d catch a flight back early Thursday morning.
Wednesday, despite initial laziness on our part and heavy rain, turned out to be a great day: we made an appearance on Bolivian national teenage children’s television, and the biker dinner was a blast, and for me, turned into my first ever baby shower (not, sadly, for me… I drank red wine to make up for it).
So, teenage TV. ‘Reel’ is a daily 2 hour programme for teenagers on PAT, one of Bolivia’s three big and slick national networks (the one we were on yesterday in the morning). They invited us back to do the adolescent show. The green suits were dusted off once more (arms were twisted at the Kawasaki showroom down the road) and the Kermit Twins were back in play.
Slick sets, slick (young) presenters, all pretty slick, as it happens. And we’re ten years older than anyone else involved in the production. One of the three presenters in 16. With pink highlights. The other girl has mezmeringly pert and massive boobs, making themselves known through the medium of a lowcut top. And the boy was a bouncy yet trendy walking ad for hair product. Then Granny and Grandpa Kermit show up. The make up artist’s first question to me is “can I make you look less tired?”. I’m not tired, I’m just already into my 4th decade on this earth.
We loiter at the back of the set, watching the three presenters flog various products as part of the show, then as a dance troupe of 15 year olds wows with breakdance-cum-lame-boyband-manoeuvres. Then us. The presenter has about as much clue as we do as to why we’re on the show, and tells the nation’s under 18s that we have driven to Bolivia from Australia. The film to explain our exploits doesn’t start so Hair Gel Hero plays for time while a decrepid hag (my good self) explains in ropey repetitive Spanish what we’re doing here. A sheep puppet with sunglasses on laughs at various points during my explanation. Wow.
Mike and I then head on to the biker dinner. It’s being held at a huge house, with waiter service and decorations on each of the 3 big tables. Immediately, it’s wonderful. Jorge, our guide to all of this, and his wife, Maria Renee, introduce us to everyone, as new people enter, they greet us charmingly, and soon there are 30 people aware of our mad story and talking to us about their own motorbiking adventures across this continent.
We interview three of the couples there. The first is the hosts, Luis and Marta. Luis has 13 motorbikes, which he introduces us too. He and Marta have been married for 36 years, and motorbiking has been a part throughout. Each bike has its own special merits, handles different terrain better than others. Marta is gorgeous, she looks about half her age, and loves being on the back of bikes with Luis. Her advice is to breathe in and savour the smells of the places you are driving through.
(more to come)
