Sunday, 13th September, Venice Beach: the long-distance newlyweds
Erin and Davey – our long-distance lovers turned Mr and Mrs! An email courtship, and totally romantic story.
They have an energy which I’m not sure that Mike and I ever had – and I think it comes from the fact that, because of their distance apart and what it takes for them to be together, they are their own little unit.
They met about ten years ago, at someone’s party, or someone introduced them, or they crossed paths, or something equally hazy. They thought little of it, until about 3 years ago, Erin was working on a project and needed to get in touch with some advertising folk. She dropped her mate in London a line on MySpace, and as she clicked on his page, up popped a picture of Davey. Erin remembered that he too worked in advertising so send an email to him too – asking for his help, prefaced with a “you may not remember me, but we met very briefly some years ago…”. Davey replied by saying he was too busy and important to help, and Erin thought he was a bit of a tit. He then did get back to her, to which she replied, and a romance quickly developed. When they tell the story, it sounds like You’ve Got Mail: both would really look forward to receiving emails from the other, they never had to wait longer than a day, and they poured their hearts out over email, and being really candid about how they feel about everything.
The natural next question was how it was when they met – it’s very easy to be totally candid over email, but how was that moment of real awkwardness when you come face to face with someone you know really well (they corresponded daily at least for 4 months) but is a total stranger physically (Davey only had her tiny picture on MySpace to jog his memory). They had arranged a meeting in Venice Beach when Davey was over on holiday, and Erin was in LA for work (she lives in New York, he lives in London). Neither had told their friends the backstory, and they met with others around. They talked for 4 hours, with Erin’s friend saying afterwards “who is that guy? You have real chemistry with him…”. They ended up in James Beach, the very bar where we met them to interview them.
After the meeting in LA, there was no doubt in either’s mind that they had something really special, so from then on, they would commute to see each other in London and New York. It was exhausting, and as the end of the weekends would dawn, one would have to sneak out early in the morning so as not to prolong the agony of goodbye.
It was really inspiring to see a relationship where they had had to choose to be together against the geographical barrier. They could have given up at any time, but instead persevered until Erin finally agreed to jack in her job and come over to the UK to see if they really were meant to be. She couldn’t work, and she didn’t have many friends, so her life consisted of sitting in the flat as Davey left for work. It sounds like it was a very tough time for her – she left family and friends behind, but the two of them never had any doubt that the love they share is worth it. And that, I think, is part of what you feel when you’re around them: a completeness, a sense of having to give up a lot to be together, a real conviction in what they have.
It was great for Mike and I to take some of that away with us. I have no idea if we could have survived separation – Mike is terrible on the phone, so we tend to limit our conversations to less than a minute. But there is something similar in our 24/7 dependence on each other now – though perhaps that’s not comparable, because we are both out of our comfort zone, whereas in Erin and Davey’s marriage, one (or both) of them will always be away from home. I just don’t think I could make that sacrifice for Mike, or at least, I’m glad that I have never had to – our lives are very intertwined. As I type, they are currently waiting for Erin’s British visa so that they can return to the UK for their London wedding. They were having a bit of a nightmare with it, so fingers crossed it goes through…
