Going The Distance

• I’d like to put in a shout out for Southern Oregon. Who even knew it was there? Not very many people, judging by the number of people around. The Steen Mountains, and the Alvord Desert in particular, are amongst the most spectacular places I have ever seen.
• We drive to Fields, the nearest conurbation to the Alvord Desert and settle down for lunch at Fields Station. A gas station/shop/diner, and the only thing happening in the place.
• From Fields, it’s a half hour drive to the Alvord, a dried up lake bed – which has created a  flat. Not like the Salt Flats, which are blinding white, this is a dusty light yellow. As you pull round the corner in the road, and it appears, it is quite spectacular.
• We saw a cluster of people landsailing (like sailing, but with wheels) in the distance on the flat. Ever the pain in the neck, I say to Mike that I’d like to drive to them and film them. So over we go.
• Despite both looking like they are in their 30s, the couple there have been married for 26 years. And so we get out the camera, and off we go with a bonus interview…
• John and Diane, from Portland, up for anything, windsurfers, tae kwon do (sp?!) experts, civil war re-enactors and generally fabulous.
• They let Mike and I to have a go on the landsail. OH MY GOD, I WANT ONE. Jaaaaarmazing. Just like a topper, but much easier, much drier, and MUCH MUCH more fun.
• I suggest John has a go on the bike by way of repayment and of course, as he brings it back in from the dusty desert, something goes CLUNK. And the gears no longer engage with the engine. Not his fault – he did exactly what Mike would have – but the bike’s not going forward.
• BIKE STATIONARY. Shit.
• We’re pretty much as far from a Ural dealership as is possible. Or anywhere for that matter.
• Shit. Another screw up in the space of 2 days.
• John suggests that we use his truck to tow the bike back to Fields.
• We rig it up, Mike on the bike following behind the truck, when he waves in distress.
• THE BACK WHEEL IS FALLING OFF.
• Shit.
• So Mike and John set to work, in the middle of the deserted, dusty road in the blazing sun, taking off the back wheel to work out what the hell is wrong.
• 2 hours later (Diane and I are on the beers by this point), Mike not only realises what caused the problem in the first place (a shattered spline in the back wheel), but has fixed it. Unbelievable. Our boy’s a mechanic!
• Jubilation. We decide to stay and camp with John and Diane on the Alvord flat. One of the best decisions we have ever made:
• We head to the desert hot springs for a soak. Hot pools heated by the sulphorous emissions. (if only we could harness Mike’s natural potential similarly)
• Meet Dave who joins our merry band. We head to a mountain orchard in the midst of the dusty Steens.
• Mike adds Alpha Male points by firing John’s gun. Looks part redneck, part training-camp-kid. Only stops when Dave leans forward and says “There’s a truck over there where you’re firing…”
• Night time, desert encampment, sleeping under the stars, landsailing until I crash into Dave’s tent… Magical.

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